her little hand prints

far be it from me to question Gods intentions and I know every thing happens for a reason however I find myself asking "why" so much lately...The little 9 year girl who was rapped and killed in missouri has changed my thought process and left me with the unmistakeable feeling that life is more than cruel its brutal...and the fact that her life ended before it could start was not the brutallity of her suffering it was the way she left her mortality...She had little time to breathe on life and less time to touch it, however she has left hand prints in my mind that will never go away...My 9 year old son is one of my definitions to live and if this were to be his destiny I dont know that I could take the present or future without the past and living would be a struggle to contend with. I ask why this is the world that is supplied with oxygen and carbon monoxide, this is the earth that has planted and buried and this is the living that has given birth and murdered it...I have to ask myself what it is that lets man go on knowing this is the possiblity of the future, that innocence is left to suffer and sinnful is dominating and the answer is, what I make it and only me...I have to teach my beautiful boys to love the Lord because of his devotion and live because of His dedication...Ihave to teach my daughter she is beauty because of his creation and she is loved because of His suffering...I have to hug them everytime I think of that little girl scared and alone crying for the protector she needed and hoping for the mercy from her suffering..I cant shake the feeling this little girl has givin me and maybe I shouldnt, I will remember her forever and I will hold on tight to what the Lord has given me young or old I have to remind myself of the possiblity of the future and love all I have now without expecting more or living for what will be, it is here right now and I will make of it what I should, a blessing,, an unmistakeable, undeniable blessing setting around me at the dinner table and hugging me when I need it and I will share their breath on life and touch living with them...I will enjoy it now because the only certainty of later is its' uncertainty...I cant say how much rowan (the little girl) was loved here but I am certain she isnt asking God why but Hugging him for being there when she needed her protector and giving her mecry when she asked him to...Tomorrow will be what it will be and today is what it is but here and now is what is living and I will Thank God for every second of it...